“If you don't know where you want to go, then it doesn't matter which path you take.”
Lewis Carroll
Before 2020, I had never:
Considered my dreams
Named my desires
Pictured my future
My people-pleasing kept my attention on all 8,258,501,407 people except myself.
My chameleon tendency—mirroring someone’s tone, expressions, or posture during social interactions—left me without a clear sense of who I was or what I wanted.
Image by Charles Negre
Planning something as simple as dinner with a friend used to expose a blind spot I couldn’t see at the time.
Friend: “Dinner at mine or should we go out?”
Me: “I’m easy—what do you want?”
I told myself I was being flexible.
But in truth her preference felt easier than naming my own.
If she was happy, I could relax.
The strange part is, I did know things:
I knew I didn’t want a loud place.
I knew I didn’t want to go to the movies.
But knowing what I didn’t want isn’t the same as knowing myself.
It’s like getting into a cab and the driver asks,
Driver: “Where do you want to go?” and all you offer is
Me: “Anywhere is fine—just not the airport.”
There’s no direction in that.
No ownership.
No relationship with your own desire.
And that’s the place I was living from.
Alice in Wonderland
“Which road do I take?” Alice asked.
“Where do you want to go?” responded the Cheshire cat.
“I don't know,” she answered.
“Then,” said the cat, “it doesn't matter.”
To know where you want to go—especially when it comes to a meaningful goal—you need to know what you want.
I learned to get clear on who I am and what I want by looking at a few simple things:
my core values
my natural strengths
my most passionate interests
Additionally, I learnt to find quality questions that invite me to stretch my imagination.
The questions below are designed to help you get clearer on your meaningful goals. They’ll show you what actually matters to you.
Getting clear on meaningful goals
If you were to live life fully-what is the first change you would make?
What would a home run—in your life/career-look like this week?
What are 3 things that would make a big difference in your life?
What would have happened in 3/6/12 months that means your life/career/business is doing better than you could have expected?
What are 3 things you would love to do before you die?
What do you want to accomplish this year?
What do you want in the next 10 years of your life?
If you were to look back 3 years from now—what must have happened?
What is your dream for this lifetime?
