How to get clear on meaningful goals

“The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask yourself.”

 

Prior to 2020, I had never:

  • Considered my dreams

  • Named my desires

  • Pictured my future

Words like purpose and legacy felt as unfamiliar to me as trying to pronounce ‘Worcestershire’ properly.

Back then, my people-pleasing had me focused on all 8,258,501,407 people but myself. It left me with no sense of who I was or what I wanted.

Planning something as simple as dinner with a friend used to expose a pattern (🚩) I couldn’t see at the time.

🧑🏻 Friend: “Dinner at mine or should we go out?”

👩🏽 Me: “I’m easy—what do you want?”

I told myself I was being flexible.

But what was actually happening is that her preference felt easier for me than facing my own.

If she was happy, I could relax.
That’s the red flag I didn’t want to name.

The strange part is, I did know things:
I didn’t want a loud place.
I didn’t want her cooking if she was tired.
But knowing what I didn’t want isn’t the same as knowing myself.

It’s like getting into a cab and the driver asks

🚕 Driver: “Where are you going?” and all you offer is

👩🏽 Me: “Anywhere is fine—just not the airport.”

There’s no direction in that.

No ownership.

No relationship with your own desire.

And that’s the place I was living from.